Makeup: a train of thought

Did you ever feel this way while wearing makeup?

Photo by Kevin Laminto

Good morning (or afternoon),

The following is a poem I wrote a few months ago on my way to work. It was sitting in the drafts section of my Substack (like my last post - 6 tips for honesty in dating) hiding away, so I thought I’d bring it to the light this morning and share these thoughts with you.

Let me know what you think about this post in the comment section below <3

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Walking to catch the tram to the office
in leggings and a dress 
today I wore makeup
my lips covered in Burt's Bees tinted rose chapstick
another product 
I convinced myself I needed
to achieve the “perfect effortless look”
except now in practice 
I feel more like a clown than anything else.

I remember my mother
red lipstick on her thin lips
white concealer on her 
sunken face
trying to hide sickness, depression 
trying to put on a different face
to go out and greet the day
as if her's, as it was, wouldn't have been okay.

I feel the oily residue 
the powder sinking into my pores
I think about the artificial pink
that splotches my cheeks;
the orange-y rouge
that paints my lips
and I can't help but associate 
wearing makeup
with so many things I hate:

trying to hide
covering the truth up
fooling someone;
shame and
the idea of not being good enough
trying to impress people who didn't do anything to deserve it

I couldn't help but wonder
are painted lips
just there to entice
some man to want to kiss me
and do other things with me?
(is that why that stranger looked at me?)

Is that why we women wear makeup?

If so I imagine it must be
a fixture of patriarchy 
an archaic practice 
still commonplace today
that would explain why so many women don't feel okay
leaving their house
without painting their face.

And so I associate 
putting makeup on 
with being a woman
and sometimes, I try -
and other times, like today, 
I think I want to hangup my hat
and call it a day
on being a woman.

What comes up in you when you read this train of thought - this stream of consciousness I had one morning?

Do you wear makeup? How do you feel about it? Does this resonate with you? Make you feel angry? Or something else?

Will you share your thoughts with us in the comments?

Wishing you a beautiful - just as you are - day :*

Chelsea