On breaking free from shame in writing

Thank you dear readers for being part of this journey 💗

Photo by Millo Lin

Dear friends,

Today I woke up and like a normal human being* reached for my phone.

*This is a joke. If you manage to meditate, or work out, or do something else first thing in the morning, good for you! I have not achieved that level of enlightenment yet 😜

Anyway as I was saying, I awoke to discover that I have one new paid subscriber here on Substack! 🥳

So I want to say Thank You to that new subscriber, as well as to everyone else who supports me by reading and subscribing to this publication.

As a reminder:

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Your views, comments, likes, messages, feedback and support mean the world to me. They remind me why writing and sharing my honest experience is valuable in the first place, especially on the days I forget.

After receiving a nice message from my new paid subscriber, I looked back at the post they referred to. It was the most popular one, What Happened When I Stopped Shaving My Body Hair.

I love looking back and reading some posts in my achieve.

When I first started writing as a teenager, I loathed my writing.

I filled notebook upon notebook with journaling and poetry. At the time, it didn’t feel beautiful or meaningful to me. I described (and put down) my writing at the time as ‘moanings of a needy white girl’. Or something like that. When that phrase came to mind, I looked upon my ‘work’ with a sense of disgust. Eww, feelings.

Writing at that time, for me, was akin to uncontrollably vomiting up my feelings. It was urgent, painful, and yet little did I know then, healing. I suppose all art is like that in some way. But I hated my writing so much that I threw all those notebooks of my ‘bad poetry’ away - they were demolished along with the building of my dad’s old printing business. A business that had died out when bigger companies took over the small town’s printing needs.

All that old work going to waste. Or did it?

In contrast, I find it remarkable that now, nearly two years after starting this very public platform where I share some of my most vulnerable writing, I feel proud.

I feel the opposite of shame when I read what I have written here. And when I receive feedback from readers like you.

So thank you, once again dear reader, for being on this journey with me and playing the part you have played in helping me live my most self-loving, shame-free life.

I think we all deserve to live that way.

Unapologeticly ourselves.

Proud.

Brave.

Love you all.

Until next time, wishing you a beautiful day.

Chelsea