Today is probably going to be another one of those days where I’m sitting behind my computer for an unbearable number of hours, just trying to get all my work done.
There are so many vague "You"s expressed in your text and I don't know how you mean them, actually. But I project myself into all of them. So these words feel to be spoken directly to me and I feel the urge to respond. Reading the heading of this post and the first paragraphs makes the impression that these words are for you, Chelsea-you, and I'm very glad that you shared them.
Immediately, I also feel the question if I'm reading this text in the right way. Am I? I can't do it in any other way and thinking too much about it will probably lead to not writing anything. So here we are.
I too, find myself wondering about questions like: Who are you to me? What am I to you? And: What is this incredible pleasant feeling that takes over my whole being and that is wanting me to spend all the time I have with you?
I'm afraid of losing myself to this feeling although I'm purely enjoying it. I'm afraid of wanting too much too fast and to lose my grounding while riding on these soft clouds that may turn into rain and thunderstorm at every moment. And at the same time I feel like every heartbreak, every last drop of despair that passed through my life so far has prepared me exactly for this, for you and for all that will come.
The early spring will turn into real spring, into never ending summer days, into fallen leaves and finally into cold and dark nights before the cycle repeats itself with the seeds that had fallen into earth before, growing and blossoming in a new and changed cycle. For me there won't be that "one" season that will carry me for a lifetime, but there is this one process (called life?) that I can be committed to. So I guess there is a kind of right and wrong during the playful acts of this process, but it's never making the whole process right or wrong. It is just what it is.
And for now, I am quite grateful about how it is. About how me manage to be so open and close to each other for this short time we've already had, about how we make so much of so little. I'm happy to experience you living and I'm happy to take part and being effected by it. And I'd love to continue it in that way.
I see ourselves walking together, through areas for which we have some kind of map to orientate, through big open roads and also through not well treaded-down paths. I see ourselves walking on ways we don't know and doubting if they are really walkable. And I see ourselves carrying a light-weight backpack with all the tools we need to find ways through every kind of terrain. Sometimes we may know exactly what to do and what to use, sometimes we have to be creative and find ways to combine different tools, and sometimes we just sit or turn around.
I love you, Chelsea! And I love that even though I know you don't mean me when you say "you", I picture myself leaving your favourite hooked on bread bakery together.
Beautiful expression by both of you gifted writers, thank you!
The begginig of a relationship is a unique time but it can be so complicated and combined with unhonest games. We all hate these games but the most people still use these old "practices". I like that you are not afraid to write these words, Chelsea, and I would like to read more about this topic, how to date a person honest way.
There are so many vague "You"s expressed in your text and I don't know how you mean them, actually. But I project myself into all of them. So these words feel to be spoken directly to me and I feel the urge to respond. Reading the heading of this post and the first paragraphs makes the impression that these words are for you, Chelsea-you, and I'm very glad that you shared them.
Immediately, I also feel the question if I'm reading this text in the right way. Am I? I can't do it in any other way and thinking too much about it will probably lead to not writing anything. So here we are.
I too, find myself wondering about questions like: Who are you to me? What am I to you? And: What is this incredible pleasant feeling that takes over my whole being and that is wanting me to spend all the time I have with you?
I'm afraid of losing myself to this feeling although I'm purely enjoying it. I'm afraid of wanting too much too fast and to lose my grounding while riding on these soft clouds that may turn into rain and thunderstorm at every moment. And at the same time I feel like every heartbreak, every last drop of despair that passed through my life so far has prepared me exactly for this, for you and for all that will come.
The early spring will turn into real spring, into never ending summer days, into fallen leaves and finally into cold and dark nights before the cycle repeats itself with the seeds that had fallen into earth before, growing and blossoming in a new and changed cycle. For me there won't be that "one" season that will carry me for a lifetime, but there is this one process (called life?) that I can be committed to. So I guess there is a kind of right and wrong during the playful acts of this process, but it's never making the whole process right or wrong. It is just what it is.
And for now, I am quite grateful about how it is. About how me manage to be so open and close to each other for this short time we've already had, about how we make so much of so little. I'm happy to experience you living and I'm happy to take part and being effected by it. And I'd love to continue it in that way.
I see ourselves walking together, through areas for which we have some kind of map to orientate, through big open roads and also through not well treaded-down paths. I see ourselves walking on ways we don't know and doubting if they are really walkable. And I see ourselves carrying a light-weight backpack with all the tools we need to find ways through every kind of terrain. Sometimes we may know exactly what to do and what to use, sometimes we have to be creative and find ways to combine different tools, and sometimes we just sit or turn around.
But we walk and we walk ways.
That's all I want to say to you.
With Love,
Stefan
I love you, Chelsea! And I love that even though I know you don't mean me when you say "you", I picture myself leaving your favourite hooked on bread bakery together.
Beautiful expression by both of you gifted writers, thank you!
The begginig of a relationship is a unique time but it can be so complicated and combined with unhonest games. We all hate these games but the most people still use these old "practices". I like that you are not afraid to write these words, Chelsea, and I would like to read more about this topic, how to date a person honest way.