An inquiry into unconditional love
How are you at giving yourself and others permission to be, as you are?
Hello all,
This weekend I’m participating in Honesty Europe’s Radical Honesty weekend workshop in Linz, and it starts shortly.
So this is a quick and short newsletter, which I imagine is better than no newsletter at all.
The phrase ‘honesty bullet’ comes to mind.
A quick idea and invitation sent hastily to you, to get it out of my mind and maybe into yours.
(The sound of Stefan grinding coffee beans fills my apartment.)
Since I met him (my new love), I’ve had this topic on my mind, for the past few weeks:
Being loved unconditionally, as you are
Within the first few weeks of dating, Stefan told me he wants to give me a gift: that I can be myself and feel loved, exactly as I am, without needing to change anything; without needing to be different.
And so this topic has been on my mind, as I try to let this love sink into my bones - as I work on accepting that maybe yes, I am lovable, loved, and good enough exactly as I am.
We all want that, don’t we - to be loved unconditionally as we are?
To be met with love and acceptance in our divine mess?
To be able to unfold in the presence of another, blooming like a flower, unrestricted, stretching into our biggest, best self, with love as our nurturing soil?
With no one to hold us down, tell us how we should be different, try to change us or make us feel guilty for being the way we are?
I imagine we all want this, more than anything.
And I imagine that if everyone had that - if everyone felt loved exactly as they are - war, violence, abuse and so much suffering would come to an end.
I imagine this is the secret to the universe - feel loved as you are. When we all can do this, we will know peace.
Side note: Here is a video of a doctor sharing his experience of patients who had brief encounters with death - in it he talks about how each of them reported feeling fully loved and accepted for the first time in their lives, upon seeing that white light and coming face to face with the other side.
My invitation - an inquiry to unconditional love
So we all want this - to be loved and accepted exactly as we are.
How to achieve this? We can’t control others, after all.
We can’t make others love us.
We can only change ourselves.
So, I invite you to explore the following questions as an inquiry to unconditional love:
How are you at holding space for others to be themselves?
Can you be with acquaintances and loved ones without trying to change them?
What do you find easy to love and accept about others? What do you find difficult? How do you make it difficult for you? With whom do you make it most easy/difficult?
What can you do to love and accept other people in your life a little more today?
What would it take for you to be able to be there through everything: all their joys, messes and sorrows?
And perhaps even more importantly - can you unconditionally love yourself?
If not yet, what can you do today that will help you realize self-love tomorrow?
Which part of yourself can you embrace a little more right now?
What if we all expanded our capacity to be with others as they are?
Wouldn’t the world be a more beautiful place?
Wouldn’t we all feel moved loved, full, accepted and at peace, free to be ourselves and at ease?
What would we do?
Would we paint, write, sing?
What would our loving look like?
Signing off,
Chelsea
P.S. I want to thank my coach Tuulia for saying this sentence, over and over again in Radical Honesty workshops:
“I can be loved, exactly as I am.”
After hearing this so many times throughout my four years of this practice, it’s finally starting to seep into my bones.
May we all be loved, exactly as we are ❤️
P.S.S. AND I think to be loved as we are, we have to be willing to SHOW OURSELVES as we truly are. People can’t love the real us if we don’t show it to them. Don’t know where to start? Join a Radical Honesty workshop to get support as you unfold authentically and find true love ❤️