Hi you beautiful being,
Here’s a little text I recently wrote for my Trainer Candidate bio page on RadicalHonesty.com. I like what I wrote, and I imagine I said some smart and inspiring things about being honest. And I also made it personal. I hope you enjoy reading!
P.S. I wrote this ahead of the Radical Honesty Weekend Workshop Linz, the very first workshop I’m organizing and co-leading with RH Trainer Christoph Fink.
It’s happening on April 7-9, in English, in a great location at Linz Hauptplatz.
I invite you to join us there and come experience what being radically honest really feels like in your body.
Hint: It’s exciting, and there’s usually a lot of sweat involved. I talk more about what I mean by that in this (old) video below, if you’re curious.
Hi, I’m Chelsea and I’m a Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate.
In 2018, I went on a Tinder date with Bernie and he told me about this thing called Radical Honesty.
He shared about his recent experience at an 8-Day Intensive where, “everybody fell in love with each other”.
Then he demonstrated Radical Honesty to me by telling me what he noticed about me, what he noticed in his body, and by saying outright that he was attracted to me.
So upon hearing about Radical Honesty - and experiencing it firsthand - my body seemed to say ‘YES!’ and I fell in love with the practice right then and there.
And let’s be honest.
If you know me, you know that I became obsessed with Radical Honesty.
I made it a big part of the meaning of my life, and focused on it relentlessly, for the next four years.
But why?
Before discovering Radical Honesty, my philosophy was:
“Be authentic, and be kind. If you can do that, you can live in peace and die without any regrets.”
Radical Honesty, I find, fits perfectly into that philosophy.
The practice is about embracing our authenticity at any moment - and being compassionately present with ourselves and others as we share our truth.
Honesty, for me, is literally the most exciting thing I can think of.
Because to be honest means to be real.
And to be real means to experience reality as it is.
And if you think about it…
If we’re not here to experience this reality as it really is, right now, then what are we here for?
For me Radical Honesty is the best meditation; the best medicine for when I’m feeling sick or sad or sorry or horny or angry or happy or lost in the jail of my mind.
It’s also the best celebration - and affirmation - of life I’ve found so far.
Before discovering Radical Honesty, I was a little lost.
I was 27, lived alone in a student dormitory, had a career I hated, and was even having sex with someone I didn’t actually want to be having sex with at the time.
I might have seemed happy on the outside - but under the surface I was suffering. I daydreamed about leaving it all behind and moving far, far away.
Starting to practice Radical Honesty was like opening up a can of worms I had buried so deep down inside me, I didn’t even know they existed.
Picking up that can, brushing off the dust, opening the rusty lid and dealing with all those pesky worms inside - it wasn’t pretty. It was painful. I was painful. But I started dealing with so many things - so many unresolved, largely unconscious issues - that were holding me back without me even knowing. In doing that, you can’t help but become another person.
One of the side effects of practicing Radical Honesty was that I looked honestly at my coping mechanisms, people-pleasing, good-girl, hyper-independent yet codependent tendencies. All the unconscious survival strategies that, while they may have served me at some point, were now serving to keep me miserable.
I examined my self-image and self-worth, and found it lacking.
I explored my relationship with my mother and father, and how that showed up in my relationships with men and women.
I realized that I’m a lot less resilient than I thought I was - I actually have needs and suffer too.
I’m not strong and ‘fine’ all the time, as I had convinced myself I was. And at the same time, I am the most resilient version of myself yet.
One of the many skills I’ve gained since practicing Radical Honesty is how to stand up and advocate for myself.
In other words - how to ask for what I want.
My conditioning taught me not to have any needs - and most importantly to be happy with whatever I get. Yet this is a recipe for disaster. Imagine telling that to a domestic abuse survivor. It just doesn't work.
We all have needs, wants and desires, and we all have a right to be our own voice, advocating on our own behalf.
Since I learned how to do this, I’ve gotten multiple salary raises and a promotion, met the love of my life, renewed friendships, was given 5000€ as a gift, helped fundraise thousands of dollars for a friend in need, and received countless other things I wanted.
And I became a lot better at handling those times when I didn’t get what I wanted - because hey, at least I asked!
Radical Honesty for me is about giving myself permission to be exactly as I am, at any given moment.
And sharing myself with others (for better or worse).
And sure, it’s scary sometimes. But on the plus side - it’s nearly always comes with a hefty dose of aliveness - which, I imagine, is what one would hope to experience, while being alive.
Radical Honesty turned my world upside down - in the best possible way - and now I could never go back.
I hope you will join us for the ride,
Chelsea
Chelsea is a Radical Honesty Trainer Candidate since 2020. On her path towards becoming a trainer, she’s participated in or co-led over 30 Radical Honesty events, including online trainings, Weekend Workshops, Residential Retreats, 8-Day Intensives and Trainer’s Trainings.
She currently lives in Linz, Austria where she runs Radical Honesty meetups every two weeks (in English & German). She hosts them together with her boyfriend Stefan (who also writes an awesome honest newsletter, Der Nachtspazierer, auf Deutch).
Besides that, Chelsea is a Content Writer & Marketing Manager by day. She enjoys creating a lovely home together with Stefan, spending time with her family and friends, making and eating delicious vegetarian food, wishing she could have a cat again (she’s allergic) and daydreaming about what it would be like to create a family someday.
She’s passionate about helping herself and others create healthy, healing relationships through honesty. Chelsea also loves writing and exploring what it means to be human in her newsletter: Being Honest by Chelsea Leah Workman.
Hei Chelsea!
I really enjoyed reading this blogpost!
I appreciate you especially for writing about the asking for what you want topic.
Feeling inspired reading that!
Thank you for this blog, for honest sharing, for how you write.
Hugs!
Sanni